Friday 15 June 2012

The return of the Rocket frog

Well! I am so pleased to report that Branson, the Rocket frog is alive and well and thriving in his new career!

 I  had to run some errands in Dorset in a little village called Tollard Royal.  As I walked through a lovely wood looking for the home of a blue tit that was selling a bottle of kittens tears, what do I spy, but the big, red cigar shape that had to be Branson's Rocket!  And, there, sitting on the body was Branson!  I was so pleased to see him, I gave him a glass of blueberry wine.   He told me of his adventures since he left Furzey Gardens on that ill fated journey...
Apparently, he had no control over the rocket mainly because the chaffich had forgot to put any in! He soared into the sky and when his supply of fuel was exhausted, he whistled down and landed with a bump on some ferns. Well, the noise was so loud it wasn't long before many tiny things appeared. One amongst them was Terry Cameron, a very wealthy snail and the first snail to own a Bugatti! Due to the fact that he had no legs, he had not mastered the art of driving the machine!

 He therefore, got a gang of 'lesser' snails that worked for him, to push it along. Well, Branson got on very well with Terry and was offered a job Chauffeur to the snail, a job Branson loved, especially having some brakes and steering in this machine!

Branson's skill behind the wheel was also put to good use when Terry entered him in the Rushmore Rally, for all speedy tiny things.

 Branson did very well, but what was most significant to the frog was meeting a couple of toads that were a popular beat combo.

 Branson saw his chance to make an impact on the world and became the manager of The TOADS.  I caught up with them practising for the Larmer Tree Festival and am pleased to show all a copy of their latest video.

Regards, Tiny

Sunday 3 June 2012

Shine on you crazy Diamonds

Well! What a time we all had at Chelsea Flower Show!
Gala night was a spectacular event!
Michel Cain talks to Simon Sinkinson

Laura Trant on the look out for fairies!

 With Michael Cain, Vanessa Feltz,  Laura Trant, and so many shining stars from the big world, the tiny things glowed all night and lit-up Simon Sinkinson's Lantern.
Tiny things glowing in the Lantern

A Midsummer Night's Dream

I think he was very pleased with all tiny things.
Their little doors even got a mention on the BBC by Chris Beardshaw.
A tiny door at Chelsea Flower Show

Well, the tiny things did not think that would happen!
Chelsea Flower Show - Furzey Gardens Tiny Doors
But the show had to come to an end!  So, Hubert the snail, loaded up the truck with the help of very tired and tearful tiny things, and quietly, while no one was looking, drove the lorry up a ramp and into a huge truck bound for Furzey Gardens.

Well done all!


Friday 18 May 2012

Chelsea Flower Show

Chris Beardshaw and Furzey garden at Chelsea flower show
Well they made it. The tiny things are at the greatest Flower show in the whole wide world. I had been watching out for Hubert and the zeplin in but had not heard a squeak or slurp from that snail or the gang of giggling tiny things.

 That was until when walking past Chris Beardshaw's wonderful garden I saw what looked at first like a grey bin bag flapping in the wind firmly snagged on Chris's thatched building.  Squinting up at the thing I spied lots of tiny things flapping about and pulling what I thought must surely be Hubert's Lorry.
Huber'ts lorry stuck on top of Chris Beardshaw's building

 I enquired respectfully of the Reverent Tim and  Chris if I might climb up the building and rescue Hubert the snail and the rest of the motley gang.
A very worried snail at the Chelsea flower show

 The Furzey gardens folk could have not been more helpful. Cutting the remains of the tattered flying machine and Lorry down and putting them gently on the beautiful garden. Well let me tell you I was so ashamed of those terrors. Without even a thank you they all shot off into the new planting and refused to come out. Chris shouted after Hubert that if he found one hole in a hosta e would employ a gang of cut throat blackbird assassins to rout them from the garden.
Well for two days I heard banging of tiny hammers and furious digging.
Hubert met me by a little pond while collecting blossom in a cart and told me of their plans.
Hubert takes a break

 It all sounded jolly good and he reassured me no hostas would be harmed because , as they were away from home, they would live on burger and chips.
Finally the tiny things  pulled back some ferns to show us their little door and garden and a mighty fine home it was.

Well done all


Tuesday 1 May 2012

They're Off!

Well, it's finally happened:  a few tiny things have left Furzey Gardens for the Chelsea Flower Show and I have my doubts they will get to London...
Apparently their answer to the transport problem was solved while Hubert, the snail, was chatting to  Clive, the handysnail.
Hubert asked him if, maybe he had seen a rocket fly over, an explosion or a burnt frog?
'No!' said Clive,  'Why do you ask?' Hubert went on to tell the sad tale of rocket Branson and his unknown fate. Clive nodded while this tale was told and then told hubert that he had dabbled with flight, trying many very dangerous modes, but in the end had conquered the skies with a huge airship!
Furzey gardens of to chelsea flower show

He told, how for many years he had moved Lady Daphany's shrubs around the garden. Well, low and behold, the airship was serviceable and could quite easily move Hubert's Lorry and plants.  So, on Tuesday 1st, many snails gathered with the tiny things at Clive's workshop.
furzey fairies fly to chelsea flower show

They connected ropes and, under the instruction of Clive, they floated out of Lady Daphany's garden and into the clouds!  They soard up and up and then were gone!
of to chelsea flower show in an airship
I had no idea a Zeppelin could fly so high - Furzey must have looked like a freckle on an old mans face!
Furzey garden fairies and snails  and tiny thingson their way to chelsea flower show

You might ask why I am always so pessimistic concerning tiny inventions, well, let me tell you the reason in this case... When I asked Clive what he had made the Zeppelin out of,  he replied, 'Oooh, when I re-roofed Diarmuid Hall, I had lots of old bendy metal left-over, it was perfect!'
Oh no! I think I know where this is going...!!
I am also popping up to Chelsea to help the students at Minstead Training Project and Furzey Gardens, so I will report back if they arrive!
Kind regards,


Sunday 15 April 2012

Chelsea Flower Show - the pressure is on!

Many tiny things forget that a garden keeps growing regardless of what folk are doing and as it grows bits break. There are those tiny things that have no interest in flower shows, what with exploding frogs and all that. Many of the little doors at Furzey Gardens are looking a little shabby. Hubert asked Silly to have a look at the damage, only for Silly to go into a rage saying that as an artist now, he had to be left to be 'free', to create and eat wild garlic sandwiches!

Well, help is never too far away at Furzey Gardens;  Lady Daphney, who had her summer home, Westland in Furzey Gardens, had offered her services. As a real fairy she loved flowers and plants. She told Hubert that her handyman, Clive, could fix anything.

So, on a lovely sunny morning after sending a telegraph to Clive at Daphney's winter home Diarmuid Hall in the Forest, Hubert and his nephew Gavin collected the first damaged door and set off in the lorry for Diarmuid Hall.  They met Clive in the most wonderful barn full of Lady Daphney's spare treasures.

After a bit of light banter, Clive got to work. I am a little worried how Silly might react to a 'new kid on the block'?!

Snail at work furzey gardens chelsea flower show 

Saturday 24 March 2012

Oh no

The problem of transport and the Chelsea Flower Show had been running around my head... if the tiny things from Furzey Gardens are really going to get to London, they need a little more help than a snail driving a lorry! Yet none of the little folk seem worried in the slightest.
The brave frog Branson prepares to fly to Chelsea flower show
Then, two weeks ago, Hubert the snail slithered in and said he had something to show me.  I followed Hubert up to Furzey Gardens and into a lovely sunny field where we met a very engaging frog called Branson.  He led us up a small hill to where, what looked like, a large monolith stood covered in a brown tarpaulin. With a great pull by Branson and Hubert on stout ropes, the secret was revield.......Oh no.....oh no........oh no.........please no!
Standing before us was a huge rocket! Oh good gracious! Oh no!  Oh my giddy aunt, no!  I backed away from the hissing monster.
Apparently the frog had built it with a stag beetle and an educated chaffinch. They unfortunatly could not be there, owing to the fact that they had been rather burnt the day before!  I enquired if the chaffinch had studied rocket science or maybe jet propulsion.  'No, no', said Branson.
'I think he likes gardening!' 'No,' he went on, 'The rocket was designed by Teddy dragonfly!'
'No, oh no, not he of Tiny Tours?' I said.  'Yes!' said the frog.  'Do you know of him?' I shuddered, because I love frogs and did not want to see a fricassee one!  'Time to go', interjected Hubert. 'What do you mean, "time to go", are you all mad, this is a bomb!' I spluttered.  'Oh no!' said Branson,  'It's a rocket and I am rocket Branson, and I will fly to London, have a quick look at Chelsea Flower Show ground and fly back!'  'Just like that?' I replied.  'Oh yes." said the rocket frog!
A brave frog

As the frog climbed onto the roof of Hubert's lorry, I noticed the green draining from his face and as he climbed the small ladder into the rocket I called out how many flights have you made.
'None!' was his reply.  'It looks really dangerous!' I said to Hubert. 'Oh, it is!' said Hubert.
leaving Furzey gardens for Chelsea flower show
'It's simply stuffed full of exploding bits you only have to croak in the drivers seat and it jumps 10 feet off the ground!'  'But Hubert..." I said, 'where would you put all the garden bits for Chelsea and the tiny things?'  'Oh well, we would just fling some of the exploding bits out!'
Just then a low rumble started.  It built louder and louder and then all at once, with an almighty bang, the rocket took off and I saw Branson's terrified face at the small window.  Although Hubert said that the frog was waving, I 'm pretty sure he was trying to get the door open!
The rocket rose up into the clear sky and disappeared. It or the frog, has not been seen since! The tiny things have put up missing posters everywhere.

ps, anybody going to Chelsea with a empty car boot??

Saturday 10 March 2012

The Chelsea Flower Show

Some little things are most definitely optimists;  the Furzey fairies are pushing on with their tiny garden.
I asked Hubert, the snail, had they actually asked the RHS if they could attend.  'Are you mad?' Hubert replied.  'Little things just do little things. They believe, quite literaly that if you work hard at some task, it will all just fall into place.'  I am not sure if this is a glass half full or so full it flooded the basement!

Furzey Fairies Chelsea Flower show Garden

Hubert took me to see the magic place in the lorry. There was much activity with tiny things stealing plants from the hedgrows and frying pickled hazelnuts.

I am not sure how they will get to Chelsea and really hope we don't see the return of Tiny Tours.
Hubert has fitted a little radio in the tiny lorry, in case it is needed.  He thinks, should they choose the lorry option, he would have to get going next week as the journey would probably take a month!
Watch out children, Hubert is about!



Friday 10 February 2012

Phone home

I have just turned 50 and although I don't like the idea of getting old, it seems to justify having so many aches and pains. I was telling Hubert the snail about this and he asked me about my family.
I was  giving Hubert a run-down on my life story and explaining about all the family quarrels and troubles.
He told me an amazing tale of a tiny thing called Samuel Elf Jackson. This little thing could not stand the simmering feuds that went on in the tiny world. If he heard of a feud between the small folk he would send them a letter. This note would explain to the parties that they would have one year to make it up before they received a visit from Samuel Elf Jackson.  'Oh!' I said. 'was he big and did he carry a large stick?'  'No, oh no!' said Hubert.  'Samuel's a tiny little chap with bushy hairs in his ears!'
'So what did he do then?' I asked.
'Well,' went on Hubert.  'a year on, in the dead of night Samuel Elf Jackson would push his cart to both  creatures doors and outside their homes would plant a tiny phone box'.
'What for?'  I asked.  'Well', said Hubert, 'as the morning broke, the little phones would both begin to ring and would continue to tinkle until those grumpy folk would open their doors and answer the persistent little phones. Sure enough the little adversaries would find themselves talking to each other!'

'It was rare,' Hubert explained, 'for the conversations to make headway on the first morning, but Samuel would not move the little phone boxes until the little things had become so weary of early morning calls that their communal hatred for the little phones brought them together'.
'What a great idea!' I thought!



Tuesday 17 January 2012


While walking in the woods today, I was startled by the sound of screaming engines and wow, what a sight!
A gaggle of tiny jets shot through the forest!  I looked at Hubert, my eyes full of astonishment.  Hubert said, 'Leather-Jackets, don't ask!'  I didn't;  just took some photos and went home.

I think this is all to much for me!

Regards, Tiny
leather jackets off to chelsea flower show


Monday 26 December 2011

Christmas Day

Lovely Christmas Day under the cat's eye at Fluffs house. Lots of Blueberry wine and party games.
All went well until I tried to takes Fluff's Photo;  they are very quick these tiny things!
Merry Christmas all!


Wednesday 21 December 2011

Cats eyes

I got into a very interesting conversation with Ginge, the Furzey cat.  I found him sleeping in the sun under a large oak tree, and made the throw away remark of it being all right for some. Ginge replied that  he had spent a fortnight working, when he was a kitten and that was quite enough for him!
Thinking Ginge was pulling my leg, I asked him what he had worked at that left him so exhausted.
The cat told me that kittens where employed in early times to operate the cats eyes on the first fairy roads. They would run up and down tunnels built under the tiny roads and when a vehicle approached they would stick there heads up through the road and look through the cats eye. Well, apparently kittens being kittens, this did not last long.  First, balls with bells were pushed about the tunnels, then fluffy mice and finally balls of wool, were chased round and round the tunnels. The kittens ended up having to be cut free by fairies with scissors and the project failed.
A group of tiny things agreed to taking over the duty of manning the cats eyes, but only on the Trans New Forest Road and they cut the cats eyes down to four.  I enclose a photo of the over-grown lane as it is today, with its last little cats eye.
I visited this quiet place today and knocked on the rubber top as Ginge had instructed me.
To my surprise, the top opened and revealed a tiny thing called Fluff. 'Come in!' she said.

Following Fluff down the little ladder, (with a bit of magic), the chill of the damp day was driven back up the ladder shaft, to be replaced by such a warm feeling.  I stepped into a magic room where a fire burned in the hearth and the smells of pine and roses wrapped themselves around my cold body.
Fluff was the last Cats Eyes Keeper and still listens for approaching traffic. Should it appear up her ladder she goes and shines her little light for all to see.

I got on so well with Fluff; she told me many tales and of her little shop, 'Fluffs Stuff', a very important place for all tiny things. After several glasses of blueberry wine, I felt I should be going, and as I was climbing the ladder, my hopes were answered when Fluff asked if I would like to come to her home for Christmas.
She said a few tiny things were coming to her little home.  Joy! Joy! but how did she know I was on my own for that most loverly time of the year?
Merry Christmas!

Saturday 10 December 2011

That's Not A Bridge, This Is A Bridge!

Now that December is here, my thoughts turn to friends near and far. With the soaring cost of stamps I am not sending as many Christmas cards.  A tiny postman (or woman, I am not sure), Trudy, will be busy delivering messages.

Last year I offered to help Trudy with the parcels, as the snow was quite deep.
Trudy is a vole with a very rusty bike.

Trudy had to be careful of the bridge as it got older
 She, like most tiny things, is not paid for her work, but all tiny things just seem to know their roll in life. Knowing how hard Trudy works at Christmas time, I made the mistake of asking what she would do when she could not manage this work. The little vole looked up with tears in her eyes; 'but I wouldn't be Trudy!' she replied. Trudy tried to explain that for tiny things it was all or nothing. I was then told another tiny tale;  apparently, there was a tiny thing who lived in the woods above Brook. This little thing ran a hospital where he cared for all the little birds that had been pushed out of nests by baby cuckoo chicks. He collected them up in a little cart, kissing them when they cried. He gently pushed them back to his home where he cared for them until they could fly. This little thing never judged the cuckoo chicks, the mother cuckoo or the duped mother bird. He just put his little head down and did his best.
Well, one day the log he used to cross the stream, was washed away in a storm and the tiny thing could not cross the water. He had built his home far from the cuckoos haunt, and logic would suggest it was time to move to the other side of the stream. But 'no!' said Trudy. The tiny thing might not be himself if he moved. He might decide not to care for the little orphan birds if he was in another home. All the tiny things knew that he would rather swim with the fluffy babies than change. So they rallied together and built him a wonderful bridge for him to cross ragging winter torrents and laughing summer trickles.  I followed Trudy on her bike today to see this wonderful site.  It stands on columns of the most magic acorns. They balance, supported by love and tradition. When I went to see it I had no idea I was about to see the 'third wonder' of the tiny world.  Long may the balance continue.


Saturday 3 December 2011

Tiny Tours

I went to find Hubert the snail this morning, to ask him all about the mechanical bird.  I found him eating a bus ticket with one of his brothers. When I mentioned a mechanical bird they both stared at me with a blank expression, but when I added, 'Tiny Tours', well, I thought they would both die of laughter! I don't know if any of you have ever seen a snail laugh, but let me tell you, it's not a pretty sight!
Their skin wobbles up and down and in and out of their shell; bubbles of slime pop from their mouths and in this case, bits of regurgitated bus ticket flowed like larva onto the ground. Finally when the slimy tears had cleared from Hubert's eyes, he told me a very funny tale...
Lady Daphney was a tiny thing with vast wealth. Apparently she felt it quite unbecoming to fly under her own steam and thought it her duty to convert the 'tiny world' to this way of thinking. What caused this thinking was an incident that occurred when she was a young thing;  an elf had looked up her skirt while she flew over head. This little elf was a dab hand with a pencil and managed to immortalise this moment with a sketch. It was hung for a short time behind a radiator in the art gallery at Furzey.  Lady Daphney had the picture stolen by a gang of cut-throat lady birds, and a turf war broke out between elf and lady birds. That awful time ended with the re-seeding of the main lawn.  Lady Daphney then offered a ten thousand shiny things reward for any clever tiny thing that could build a flying machine, and low and behold, Teddy dragonfly stepped into the breach. He had studied the giant flying machines of the human world and had designed a similar thing.
The shape, Hubert admitted, was magnificent;  built out of twigs, moss and spiders webs, but when Teddy started stealing birds feathers, Hubert could see the project going a little awry.
Teddy, you see had a simple approach -  if it looked the part, it would work. His reasoning was thus:
1.   If it resembled the shape of the human craft, that's a start.
2.   If it had feathers, it would fly...... Bingo!
Only it did not!  Teddy had to know more about the workings of human machines.  He flew many days to a little airport called Hurn and observed the comings and goings of the giant metal craft.  He managed to hide on the human craft and watched flaps being opened in the sides of these craft.  What he saw within, filled him with dread;  the machines were full of fearful cogs, pipes, wires and lights.  None of this he understood.  He was in a scrape now, but in Teddy style, he decided that if he could find similar looking tiny things and fit them in his bird, all would be well.
Teddy borrowed, stole and made all manor of complicated things and threw them in the bird.
As the mess became bigger he became more confident, until, on a Spring day, he announced 'Tiny Tours' were ready for business.
Tiny tours made 8 flights in all.
The first was a publicity flight around Minstead and Emery Down.
The forty 'tiny things' that boarded where so excited that little did they know it was 'tiny excitement' that kept the bird in the sky!
I am so glad the tiny things from furzey gardens aren't going to chelsea flower show in this

Subsequent flights were all kept in the air by varying levels of enthusiasm, (little things buzz when exited).
But the last flight was full of very depressed and hung-over stag beetles, returning to Holly Hatch after a stag night. Their glum faces and fear of their wives wrath brought the little aircraft down with a bump .
The bird flew no more, but it's wreckage is still there, and I went to find it with Hubert.  A very proud 'tiny thing' has made her home in the warm fuselage, and it is lovely to see things not going to waste.
Regards Tiny

Wednesday 30 November 2011

2nd Wonder of the Tiny World

I came across this poster;  it was behind a pile of wood in Silly's workshop.
'Wow!' I said.  'What is it? It's truly amazing!'  Silly said that it was awful really, 40 tiny things packed in a mechanical bird.  And being showered with blueberry wine every time they swerved out of the way of an amorous kestrel, or dropping violently into grass, as gangs of sparrows landed on the wings and pecked at the stowaway ants and beetles that hid in the feathers.  Silly had apparently taken this trip with his mother attempting to holiday at the tropical paradise known as Goatee Beach in Totton.
Silly knew nothing of the mechanical birds history, only that it made very few flights before crashing into a hedge near Frogham.
I will ask hubert about this as he seems to know all there is to know about tiny things, and report back.
This surely has to be the second wonder of the tiny world!


Monday 21 November 2011

Silly Makes a new door

I popped-over to Silly's little workshop to check he had not forgotten Aristotle's new door.
I could do without another up-rising from tiny things!  I was so pleased to find Silly hard at it, even though he had a stinking cold.  I sat with him for a while and he told me such tales, some happy and some very sad.
Apparently, Silly had not always wanted to be a carpenter. When he was very young he travelled with his family many miles to visit the fairy theatres and was lost forever to acting.  He remembers sitting in the grass and watching A Mid-Summers Night Dream.  That magic night was the first time Silly remembers hearing his heart beat, and he knows it beats and waits for him still.  I think this theater maybe another 'wonder' of the Tiny World, so I will try and find it one day.
Anyway, Silly made a good solid door and in the afternoon, Hubert came over in his lorry with some of his brothers to collect it.  I do hope this keeps the tiny things happy.

They are very busy fundraising for the Furzey Gardens Chelsea flower show.  Please do send them something at